Whether it is physical or emotional abuse, breaking out of an abusive relationship merits caution and preparation. When you can no longer tolerate the abuse, it is smart to have a safety plan that is well thought out. The following suggestions are offered:

1. Make copies of important documents such as your birth certificate, marriage license, and insurance policies.
2. Note bank account numbers and Social Security numbers for your spouse and children.
3. Get a duplicate set of keys for your home and cars.
4. Put money in a safe place, not in a purse or drawer.
5. Give a spare set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes to a friend.
6. Tell someone what is happening to you. Know where you can go for help. Keep phone numbers of friends and domestic violence hotlines handy.
7. If you make a phone call to a shelter, lawyer, or agency, hang up and dial someone else so your partner can't use *69 or the redial button to trace the call.
8. If you have caller ID, make sure to erase all incoming numbers that could tip him off.
9. Use a computer your partner does not have access to. Otherwise, cover your tracks by deleting recently visited web sites. (Go to the Help box, click on Index and find Cookies for instructions.)
10. Identify a safe place for your children to go, such as a room with a lock or a neighbor's house.
11. Establish a code or signal to alert friends, family, or neighbors when you are in danger. Don't depend on using the phone. Your code might be pulling a shade halfway down or turning on the porch light.
12. Plan the safest time to get away. Ask someone to be there with you.
13. Join a support group to help relieve isolation, sort out your feelings, and add some perspective.

If you or someone you know needs help, call any of the following:

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• York's Domestic Violence Hotline: 717-846-5400 or 1-800-262-8444
• Overcoming Powerlessness Crisis Counseling: 717-741-5000
• Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-654-1211
• The National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Call 911 if you are in danger or if you see or hear abuse!